Onward

It was a flood of thoughts and ideas that consumed my mind during my deconversion and after the waters receded, I was left barren. The frame of reference that I had built my life upon during the greater part of my adolescence had crumbled into dust and I was left hungry. I was void of knowledge of this vast world; if I could have devoured it all at once, I would have. My new goal was knowledge, education, understanding of any and every perception of reality that I could get my hands on. I scoured web pages, discussion boards, youtube videos for any shred of information on science, philosophy, and even religion.

There is something in me, a part of my personality, that can not stand not knowing. I must discover truth, I must know what holds the world together. I can not simply live my life knowing that the world is here but possessing no understanding of it. The hungering force that had pressed me into inquiry has subsided and I have settled into reading both Barker and Dawkins. And I think at this point, I will conduct this blog in a more present tense.

My favorite places of thought are forums. They don't possess the same intellectual refinery as books who's arguments are like polished brass. Reading a discussion board is like sifting for gold, hidden among some of the general immaturity so rampant on the internet are personal accounts, people who have journeyed for intellectual freedom. The end is so very important but so is the journey, the process of discovery. I don't think I can truly articulate how paramount these experiences are for me, how I treasure discovering the perspective of another individual. This is the same force that drives me as an aspiring anthropologist, to understand the differences and similarities between not only cultures but individuals. While culture shapes our understand and the way we perceive the world, people within that culture have their own perspective. So while reading a book will give me a general consensus of what most atheist "believe,"(0r rather, not believe), I enjoy seeing the process of what led and individual to that point. And it is another person's journey that helps me on my own.